Today while I was at the gym pedaling away I suddenly realized that it's about time I share my experiences of losing weight with everyone.  It's never been easy for me to share such personal things as I've always looked down on myself for being overweight...weight has been a battle for me since I was a little kids.  I was put on diets starting around 2nd grade and the bad habbits started from there.  I retreated from every possible thing I could just so I wouldn't embarrass myself or make myself feel awkward around everyone else.  I always felt like adults and kids were looked down on me for my weight.  After I graduated high school in 2003 I finally got a gym membership and started working out and went on a liquid diet of diet shakes made by HMR.  I lost a lot of weight, though I'm not sure how much cause I never weighed myself at that time.  I went down from a size 22 to a size 14 in a matter of two months...maybe less.  It didn't take me long to gain all that weight back and be right back where I was.  In 2007 I went back to the HMR classes and did their diet again and started working out...I lost 50 lbs and then I moved up to Cadillac, MI where my weight-loss kinda halted, but I wasn't gaining.  Once I got settled in my new surroundings, I started running and started losing weight.  I was living with my Aunt and Uncle and my ambition to get fit inspired my Uncle to start lifting again.  It didn't take long for me to start lifting with him after I did my run.  Eventually I joined Anytime Fitness in Cadillac and was getting up at 3AM just so I could work out 3 hours before heading to work.  I did this 6 or 7 times a week.  The weight was just melting off during this process and I had gained a lot of muscle.  I was toned and feeling so good about myself.  I had started out this time at 5' 8" and 321 lbs in June of 2007 and in June of 2008 I was 198 lbs and a size 14.  It was at this same time in my life, in may of 2008 actually that I met my now husband, Joshua Thwaites.  That same summer we found out we were expecting and the morning sickness started....and the work outs stopped.  Once you fall out of a habbit, it is so hard to get back into it.  I just couldn't get myself motivated even after the morning sickness subsided.  We ended up having Caitlyn in 2009, Zachary in 2010 and Lydia in 2011 (my most precious treasures), but it also led me to gain a horrible amount of weight.  In a matter of three years, I managed to shoot past the highest I had ever been and after deliving Lydia I got up to 386 lbs.  Horrible, I know!  Through the last two pregnancies I wouldn't let my midwife weigh me cause I was so depressed with how I looked, the last thing I wanted was to know my weight.  But when I re-joined Anytime Fitness in August of 2011 I knew I needed to weigh myself.....how horrible it was to see that weight on a scale.  I won't ever forget that feeling....I think I actually left the gym after seeing that cause I was so distraught that I couldn't bring myself to even work out.  The next day I started on the long road ahead of myself.  I couldn't be more happy to be down 90 lbs and at 296 lbs.  I still have such a long way to go, but I can feel the change and I'm starting to see little changes.  I'm really hoping that everyone will offer advice and encouragment where needed.  We all have our bad days, and I know I will need your support for those bad days!  I went through November of 2011 to March 1st with no workouts and I didn't gain any weight but that was time that I could have been losing!  I am not stopping now!  This will be an ongoing thing with me and I hope that my kids will be proud of their mom and look up to me when they get older.  I hope the habbits we build now will only benefit them.